Shiny Hair Leads to Funny Things
by hamxham
Summary: You have to tell me how you keep your hair so shiny!" "And why do I have to tell you?" "Because… if you don't, then I won't ever confess to you that I like y-" I slapped a hand over my mouth. Nice going, Teto. Nice. TetoxTed, for KonataIzumi1's contest.


**A/N: **Here's my entry for **KonataIzumi1**'s Teto+Ted contest thing! gawd it took me a while to do this... i'm not a super tetoxted fan (but i do think it's cute), so inspiration was harder than for lenxrin...(coughbutcoughiamcompletelyacoughreviewwhoresocoughiforcedmyselftocoughtypesomethingcough). Erm.

I originally wanted to do something uh, medival-y, with the whole cantarella or cendrillon thing (i absolutely ADORE the kasanes' cover of those two songs...) but uh, yeah. I couldn't figure it out much. So... I resort back to my *very bad* sense of "humor" and present you guys with this very crudely put together piece of... something.

Happy one month delayed birthday to Teto and Ted, my favorite red-headed vocaloids!

and... warning: be cautious of Teto's potty mouth.

**Disclaimer:** I WILL SHOVE ANYONE WHO SAYS I DO NOT OWN VOCALOID DOWN THE TOILET -because they are absolutely right-

* * *

+++Shiny Hair Leads to Funny Things+++

I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

"GWARRRRRGGG!!!!" I screamed at my reflection in the mirror, pulling at my hair.

Why isn't it shiny?!??!

I sunk down to my knees, clenching my teeth. I'd tried everything… and I mean, EVERYTHING…

…strawberries…

…lemon…

…honey…

…apple cider…

…mayonnaise…

…coffee…

…aloe vera…

…and yet, why could I not make my hair shine? Why was my hair so dull? Why was my hair so unlike…

...his?

Him! My twin brother! A _guy_!! Shinier hair than ME! I growled under my breath at the thought.

It's not fair!! Him, with such a handsome face, such piercing eyes, such immense brain power, such admirable characteristics, such a 'smexiful' body… just had to have such shiny hair as well.

And me?

_She's really pretty… but oh my gawd her brother is hot!!!_

_What a nice shade of pink your eyes are!! … Woah, looks at Ted's, his eyes are like rubies!! How beautiful…_

_Just like Teto to get a 99 on the final huhn… And just like Ted to get a 100, hehe._

_Teto, you know what, your brother's such a better listener. You need to learn some patience!_

_Ah, I'm so jealous of Teto's legs in a bathing suit!... Oh, wait, look there! Ted's abs… kyaaa!!_

And my hair?

_Hey, Teto, just how does one get such shiny hair… _

…_like Ted?_

My hands clawed at my head. "AHHRRGG!!"

So unfair… so unfair…

But soon, the unfairness will end.

I will find his secret… to shiny hair.

* * *

**PLAN A**

Time to put my plan into action.

Today, I've replaced his shampoo (that I secretly use also, in an attempt to steal his hair's shine) with really really really super cheap shampoo. So cheap, that anybody who cared for their hair would not be willing to use it.

He went in to shower.

I waited.

Half an hour later, he got out. "Hey, Teto, did we get a new shampoo?"

Shit. "Eh… er… I don't know…"

"Huhn, it seemed different. I almost think it worked better on my hair!" _Better?!_ Before I could say any more, he walked off.

Two hours later, his hair was dry.

And shiny.

* * *

**PLAN B**

So it wasn't the shampoo.

Maybe he had some secret something that he put in his hair every day? I looked up every possible fruit/nut/vegetable/whatever that could be used in some way to help achieve glossy hair and threw them all out. I also made sure he didn't go to the store to buy more.

Ted still had shiny hair the whole week.

* * *

**PLAN C**

Now I suspected that he had some secret case of hair products hidden in his room. Taking advantage of the two hours he was away for horseback riding, I did a thorough inspection of his room. Under the bed, under the chairs, under his desk, under his computer, behind his computer, in his shirt drawer, his pants drawer, his… erm… underwear drawer…

Nothing.

Just then, I heard the front door open and close. But it was also when I caught sight of a small bottle of… leave-in conditioner. Right smack on the desk. Wow, how could I have not seen it? I reached to grab it, but…

Ted walked in. "Teto? Why're you in my room?"

"Uh…" What was I supposed to say? _I'm just creeperishly searching your room for hair products because I don't want your hair to be shiny anymore_. Uh huhn, yeah. "Uh… I was… uh… could I borrow the hair conditioner thing?"

"Huhn?" He seemed to be taken by surprise. "Um… okay, I guess."

Whew. "Alright, thanks!" I took the bottle, and bounced out of his room.

I made sure that he didn't get it back for three days.

His hair was shinier than ever.

* * *

**Plan Z''**

It was three weeks since I had started trying to figure out Ted's secret, and still no results. To be honest, I was pretty much done with that guy. Every time I thought I found the cause of his amazing hair, his hair only gets _better_. What is wrong with that person anyways?!

So at this point, I have no choice but to resort to my last plan…

To ask him straight out.

I decided to catch him at school today, since he's always locked up in his room at home and prohibits me from interrupting. Lunch was almost here, and it will be my perfect chance.

As soon as the bell rang, I popped up from my seat and stormed to Ted's desk, slamming my hands down. "I need to talk to you."

He looked at me strangely, but decided not to comment. "Yeah?"

I took a deep breath. "Ted, you have to tell me how you keep your hair so shiny."

He almost laughed. I could feel it. His chest shifted upwards in preparation for laughter, but he stifled it. Instead, a smirk spread on his annoyingly good-looking face. "And why do I have to tell you?"

Hm, I didn't think this one through… "Because, uh…" Crud crud crud I don't have a good reason… "Uh, if you don't, I'm not going to ever confess to you that I like y-"

I slapped a hand over my mouth.

Fuck.

Nice going, Teto. Nice.

My face was blushing harder than ever, and to make matters worse, I said it just loud enough for the whole class to hear.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

And guess what he did?

He _smiled._

That bastard.

"So," he said with a chuckle, "If I tell you, will you confess to me then?"

I bit my lip. How dare he say that as if it were no big deal…

"You will, won't you?"

I glared at him with as much evilness I could possibly muster. "O-only if you tell me." Crap, you could hear the nervousness in my voice.

"Of course I will… but only if you confess first."

The nerve of him…! But… I've worked so hard to find his secret… I can't back out now…

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Ted… I like you."

_Ba-bump. Ba-bump._

Oh shut up, heart.

He smiled wider. Well, I didn't see it, since my eyes were shut, but I felt it. Like, felt it. You know. And then… I felt something on my ear… warm… tickly… wh-what?? His… breath??? He was… breathing… on my ear…

Doctor, I think I officially have a fever here.

"You want to know how my hair's so shiny?"

I gulped.

"Well…"

I held my breath.

"It's because…"

Omgomgomg…

"…I. am. gay."

…

…

…

WTFWTFWTFWTF!?!?!

I think my expression reflected this phrase pretty well, since Ted burst out in laughter.

"Haha, I got you on that one, didn't I!" Stopping his laughter, he turned towards me. "Don't worry, Teto, I am very much straight… for my dear twin sister, that is." And before I could react to anything, he leaned in, and…

…kissed me.

And then he walked off.

…

…

Holy shit he kissed me.

Holy holy fucking shit he kissed me.

KYAAAAA!!!!

…

Erm.

It was only a few minutes later, when I had finally came out of my trance, that I realized…

He never did tell me how his hair was so shiny.

"TEDDDDDD!!!!! YOU EFFING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

**A/N:** aaaand... there you go. please tell me what you think, ne? :)

btw, just as a note... Z'' is like, "z prime prime" as in like, this is her 3rd time through the alphabet... idk if anyone caught onto that, lol. idk why i even put it it, seeing as it's totally unnecessary -blargblarg- =.=

thank you for reading!


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